So this one time I decided to go to college…
And in my fits of sleep deprivation fueled insanity I discovered a few important things:
- I can consume nearly infinite amounts of coffee but….
- Then one time I fell asleep holding my calculator and woke up holding it like a teddy bear. It was then I decided that the situation had become dire.
- Most doctors, therapists, parental units, close personal friends, and even strangers on the street would recommend a nap. Instead, I did more yoga.
By finals week you could have convinced me my name was actually Zenon, and I was sent down to Earth for getting too close to unveiling the evil plot to ruin my space station home (I’m referencing Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century for those of you who missed the G-rated movies of the 90’s).
(She was an icon…and we all wanted neon spandex space suits to match hers).
At the end of it all, the entire campus seemed to be echoing with Anchorman references:
Thankfully next came HOLYMACARONIBATMANIT’SSUMMERWAHOOBREATHINGANDFREETIMEANDWOWZATHIS’LLBEFRABULOUS!
Except for one eensy weensy teensy tiny smidge widgen of a road block: three summer jobs and three summer classes.
And my reaction was:
I was wrong.
As luck would have it, the solution to the problem is incredibly simple in nature.
Funfetti donuts with strawberry frosting. Yeah, you can do that. In fact, you should do that. I did that. And was happily in a strawberry and sprinkle sugar coma as a result.
The secret recipe (Because if I put it on the internet it stays a secret…right?):
2 ¼ cups flour
½ cup brown sugar (lighter is better to avoid a heavy molasses flavor)
½ cup sugar
1 tsp. salt (I used sea salt because I enjoy baking with it better than kosher salt)
2 tsp. baking powder
1 cup milk (My favorite baking options are 2% milk or Silk’s Coconut-Almond Milk)
¾ cup rainbow sprinkles (The fun ice-cream parlor kind)
VANILLA FOR DAYS! (Well, I mean, don’t pour it for days, it will mask the sprinkle flavor…2tsp. should do)
- Whisk together the dry ingredients. (I find this goes smoother if you sing yourself a little song as you do so, mine goes like this “Whiskity, whiskity, whisk, whisk, whisk,” I just know you are currently in awe of my song writing skills. Beyoncé will be asking me to do a duet any day now. I’m sure of it.)
- Beat together the eggs and milk.
- Fold the wet ingredients into the dry.
- Fold the sprinkles into the batter.
Make sure not to overmix as it will remove some of the superb fluffiness from the donuts. And people who kill the fluff are bad people. Bad people I tell you. HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE FLUFFY DONUTS?!
- Spoon batter into a donut pan (When I discovered they make these I cried a ‘lil bit.)
- Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 9-11 minutes.
Frosting: (Don’t you dare bring up the canned kind, don’t do it I tell you!)
Beat ½ cup softened butter with 4-5 cups confectioners’ sugar, 2 tbsp. heavy cream, ½ tsp. vanilla, ¼ tsp. salt, and ½ cup smooooshed strawberries for 5-7 minutes until FLUFFY (see the fluffy will always come back to haunt you).
Frost the donuts.
Frost ‘em good.
Frost ‘em liberally.
Sprinkle with sprinkles (Tehehe, see what I did there? Do ya? Do ya?)
If you don’t have a donut pan (Which you should.) and can’t muster the hutzpah to drive yourself to the store to buy one (Why can’t you?) then you could always just turn them into cupcakes. Which I approve of. Or a cake. Also mightily delicious. But not even attempting this wonderfully sprinkled adventure?! Well that is simply unacceptable. Appalling. Heartbreaking. One might even say…
OH COME ON! You know you giggled.
For those of you who braved the experiment and tasted happiness, here is your certificate of successful completion.
Feel free to add it to your resume.
Live, laugh, love, bake,
Marley and Me
P.S. Take a nap for me?