WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING??? Okay maybe not you exactly, but someone, somewhere came up with these out-of-this-world ideas. I’m questioning their sanity. What compelled them to commit such crimes against the kitchen? I mean seriously people!! Get your taste buds checked out!!
Curious yet?
So I happened to be searching for a super fabulous new dessert recipe and these are the horrors I come across:
- Raisin Cheesecake. Now don’t get me wrong, I love raisins (in G.O.R.P.) and I love cheesecake, but thinking of the two together is less then appetizing.
- Oatmeal Pudding. *shudder* .Please understand that oatmeal is a BREAKFAST FOOD, and belongs in a BOWL, it should not hold a shape!!!!!
Quite honestly, this scares me more than those work out videos from the ’80s!!!
- Spinach brownies, spinach and chocolate are not good combinations. They just aren’t. Trust me. Seriously, it’s just not a good idea. It really isn’t. Don’t debate me on this one. Just put away the spinach and no one gets hurt.
Thankfully, the recipe I bring to you today is beyond scrumdiddliuptious, super easy, and a worldwide favorite. So without further ado I give you…the chocolate chip cookie AND the chocolate chip cookie bar (It’s like one of those BOGO deals!!).
The Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour (½ white, ½ whole wheat works as well)
½ tsp. baking soda (for these cookies I don’t level the ½ tsp., I let it overflow a smidge)
½ tsp. salt
¾ cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup brown sugar, PACKED (pack hard please, because the harder you pack the more brown-sugar-y deliciousness your cookies will contain)
½ cup white sugar
1 tbsp. +++ vanilla
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups chocolate chips (my favorites are the Hershey’s Dark or the Ghirardelli 60% Cacao)
Instructions:
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
- Grease a cookie sheet or line with parchment paper or a silicon mat.
- In a small bowl stir together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
- In a large bowl stir together the melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugar.
- Into the sugar/butter mixture beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk. I just use a wooden spoon for this; it works just as well and makes less of a mess. Well, unless there happens to be a hole in your bag of flour and when you pick it up you suddenly have a very white kitchen. Not that this has happened before or anything, pshh, I can’t believe you assumed that!
- Stir in the chocolate chips. Now, I don’t know about you, but 2 cups of chocolate chips NEVER make it into my cookies, for some mysterious reason I always seem to be a bit short. I have no idea why. It’s definitely not the three other people in my house who seem to have chocolate chip radar.
At this point you can choose to become metaphorical and corny or boring. Personally, I prefer being dramatic, but don’t feel bad if you prefer a mind-numbing, lackluster existence. Seriously, it’s no big deal.
…
…
…
…
…
Now, close your eyes. Imagine yourself in Scotland. You are on a long and winding country road surrounded my rolling hills, pastures, and a whole bunch of sheep. The sheep are getting on your nerves; they are blocking your path!!! HOW DARE THEY!!! But anyways, once the sheep leave (probably because Jamie Oliver was making dinner) you find yourself at a three pronged fork in the road.
I sincerely hope that I never acually run into this in real life
Should you go left? Should you go right? Should you go straight? THIS IS SO STRESSFUL!!!
To the left you find yourself rolling cookie dough into 1” balls and baking for 12-15 minutes.
Straight ahead you see yourself turning off the oven and refrigerating the dough overnight (For some reason this has the most amazing effect on the cookies, they come out flat and super chewy.)
Don’t you just wish you could reach through the screen and grab one?!?!
To the right you see yourself patting the cookie dough into a ¼” thick rectangle (or square, or diamond, or trapezoid, the shape opportunities are endless) of cookie dough and baking for 30-40 minutes. Once the super large cookie has cooled, you cut it into bars.
Hungry yet?
Just remember, the best way to eat a chocolate chip cookie bar is with a nice tall glass of milk.
I’m sure you can see what a difficult decision lies ahead of you. All options are delicious. Now it is up to you. Choose wisely. Don’t do anything stupid. Putting raisins in chocolate chip cookies would be stupid.
Live, laugh, love, bake,
Marley and Me
Marley, my dear. I love that I can hear your voice in my head as I read your funny, outrageous, spunky, lovely posts. Please come back into my life.
You in real life is much better than just reading your blog and hearing your voice, as lovely as that is.
Well, that sounded sufficiently creepy. I think my work is done. Oh dear…
Aww Hannah!! Thanks so much!! I miss you too!! Lets get together and drink non mint tea very very soon!!
I seem to recall that fork pic from a Muppet movie, and was it Yogi Berra (not Yogi the Bear) who said, “If you find a fork in the road, take it”? I could see nuts and raisins in a chocolate chip cookie, especially one made with oats (like a fruit and nut bar?), but the oatmeal thing was disgusting, like from a horror movie. I don’t bake, but I enjoy your posts!
Thanks so much! And yes, a fruit and nut bar would be quite delicious! I actually had quite a fabulous one with dried apricots and oats and honey in it at the Schenectady Farmers Market last week!