The Mad Hatter Cordially Invites You To Tea

I don’t know about you, but I’m not big on hot weather. Wait! I should clarify. I’m not big on heat when it does not involve me spending all day in the ocean jumping waves and building sandcastles. And sadly, I am nowhere near the ocean at the moment, and it is hot (very Very VEry VERy VERY hot-not that I’m exaggerating or anything ). Most logical people (a category into which I do not fall) would take the opportunity that a hot day provides to go to a pool, run through a sprinkler, or sit somewhere with air conditioning. But, me being me, I did nothing of the sort. Instead, I proceeded to stand in front of an oven that was preheating to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. And now you all know that I’m crazy (a fact you could have easily found out if you asked anyone who has ever had a conversation with me, I tend to be a bit uhhh enthusiastic).

There was, however, a point to this insanity. I was intent on making some bread. I wish I could explain why of all things to make, I absolutely needed to make bread, but as I cannot you will simply have to be satisfied that it was simply the mood I was in.

What type of bread was this you may ask? English Muffin Bread.

Some facts about English Muffin Bread:

1. It has English in the title (which I have assumed refers to England and not the USA). And all things from England are awesome (see list below).
2. It has the word muffin in the title.

   

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3. It makes fabulous toast. And what does one put on toast? NOT VEGEMITE (unless you are from Australia, in which case it is acceptable). I, however, prefer jam on my toast. At the moment I am enjoying the strawberry jam that I made with my daddy a few weeks ago .

 

Reasons England is awesome:

1.  1. Harry Potter books 1-7
2. Ron Weasley
3. They have tea time!
   

   Tea Time with Mythbusters

4. They call vacation “holiday”
5. HAVE YOU HEARD THEIR ACCENTS???
6. The Beatles.
7. They still have knights (well, in a sense)
8. They just are, so accept it and move on.

Reasons England is not awesome:

1. They discovered a lot in chemistry. Do you know what science I took this year? Chemistry. Do you know what kept me up way too late this year? Chemistry. Do you know what probably killed a rainforest this year? My chemistry packets. Do you know what I will hold a grudge against for at least five more minutes? New York State for administering the chemistry regents. CHEMISTRY HAS DRIVEN ME TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. Thankfully, next year I take physics, which I’m told is far more difficult. Wahoo.
2. Apparently Ron Weasley and his family are fictional characters, therefore his family does not exist and so now me and my red-headedness cannot join. I would like to ask for a moment of silence on this sad day.

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Thank you.

Anyhow, I just remembered the point of this blog is to give you recipes, not to listen to me ramble (it may be the fact that it is 11:30 p.m. and I had like three cups of black tea an hour ago, but I am feeling particularly delirious).

The Recipe: (dramatic music from Jaws…)

¼ cup cornmeal

6 cups all-purpose flour

5 tsp. dried yeast or 2 packages

¼ tsp. baking soda

2 cups milk (I used whole milk, but any kind will do swimmingly)

½ cup water (H₂O, composed of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, a polar molecule that will only dissolver polar substances, it also has strong surface tension, and a boiling point of 100 degrees Celsius, bored yet?? Because I could go on! But I won’t. So you’re welcome.)

1 tbsp. sugar

1 tsp. salt

Instructions:

1. Grease 2 8x4x2 loaf pans; sprinkle the cornmeal over the pans so that the sides and bottom are coated.
2. In a large bowl mix together the 3 cups flour, the yeast, and the baking soda.
3. In a medium saucepan heat the milk and salt until 120-130 degrees Fahrenheit (It is really important that the temperature is within that range. A temperature that is too low may not activate the yeast, and a temperature that is too high may kill the yeast).
4. Stir the milk mixture into the flour mixture.
5. Stir in remaining flour.
6. Place ½ of the dough in each loaf pan and sprinkle the tops with cornmeal.
7. Cover and let rise (preferably somewhere nice and toasty warm) for 45 minutes.
8. Bake at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 25-35 minutes.

And now that you have your ever so wonderful loaves of English Muffin Bread, I recommend eating it with either ricotta cheese and strawberry jam or a sunny side up egg on top! Happy breakfasting!

Live, laugh, love, bake,

Marzipan

Making some strawberry jam

In the kitchen with my Dad

 

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